Mark Occhilupo: funny wipeouts can make great jokes

Surfing can be funny, especially when the sport's stereotypes come into play. Discover humorous jokes involving surfers, surfboards and surf lingo.

Surfing jokes are usually silly. And that's what's great about surf pranks. If we're able to laugh at ourselves, then we're building a solid history and culture for ourselves as surfers.

Discover the best surf jokes and share the laughter with all your surfing friends. It's nothing but satire. Are you having a laugh?

What do surfing and oil have in common? They're both measured by the barrel.

How does Mick keep cool before a heat? Fanning.

A surf contest is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.

The operative principle behind any surf shop: it's easier to fool a tourist poser than it is to fool a surfer.

Why didn't the surfer ride the glassy waves? Because he heard they were breaking!

What did the wave say to the surfer? Have a swell time!

Let me have this wave, would you? My girlfriend is watching from the beach.

What did the stand up paddleboarder eat before bed? Supper.

Give a man a surfboard, and you've distracted him for a day. Teach a man to surf, and you can't get him to work.

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try taking off on the wrong wave.

Golf: For people who don't know how to surf.

The best day at work will never be as good as your worst day surfing.

A little boy is learning to surf, and when he and the father get to the beach, once again, the waves are windy and sloppy.

Surfing is one of the few sports where you can pee whenever you want. That's why they call them wetsuits.

How can you spot a surfer at a wedding? He's the one that's not there.

Q: How do you get a surfer to school on time?
A: Tell him the waves are crappy.

Q: What's the difference between a surfer and a large pizza?
A: A large pizza can feed a family of five.

Q: Why is surfing like sex?
A: When it's good, it's really, really good. And when it's bad... it's still pretty good.

Q: Why does a blonde throw water on her keyboard?
A: To surf the internet.

Q: Why are surfers generally more cheerful and relaxed than most others?
A: They are the only grown-ups who get to pee in their clothes on a regular basis.

Q: What do you call a surfer who just broke up with his girlfriend?
A: Homeless.

Q: Why did the shortboarder cross the road?
A: Because all the other carbon-copied, brand-wearing, sticker-flashing unimaginative shortboarders did.

Q: What detergent do surfers use to wash their wetsuit?
A: Tide!

Q: How do surfers say "hello" to each other?
A: They wave!

Two surfers are getting ready to paddle out.
Surfer one: "Hey, guess what! I got a new longboard for my wife!" Surfer two: "Great trade!"

The boy asks, "Daddy, what makes the wind blow?"
Father says, "It's caused when daddy puts on his wetsuit".

A surfer known for the amount of waves he caught was asked for his secret.
"It's simple," he replied. "When I get up in the morning, and my wife is lying on her right side, I only take waves with a right break. If she is lying on her left side, I only take waves with a left break."
"Suppose she is lying on her back?"
"In that case, I sure as hell don't go surfing!"

Two drunken surfers were at the bar when one of them asks:
"Hey man, what's worst: ignorance or indifference?"
The other guy answers:
"I really don't know and I really don't care".

Did we miss a great surfing joke? Send us your favorite surf gag to editor [at] surfertoday.com

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